Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
