i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
