I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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