everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
