I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
