oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
