doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize