Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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