he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
