Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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