: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
whose parrot is this?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
