What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
