You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
