Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Randomize
