they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize