yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
