how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
