Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
