so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
