nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I deserve this hangover.
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