We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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