If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
