Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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