Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
