New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize