he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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