Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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