I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
