yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
