I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
