Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize