everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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