oh god the rape fog is back!
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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