there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
