In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
