God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
