only if we run a train.
done.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
