I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize