In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
