we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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