Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
