I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
