OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Pappa wants mamma naked
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
