I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
