sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
