Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
