my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
