Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
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