apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
