In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
