nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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