He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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