Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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