Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
