how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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