Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
