what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm at about main and main street
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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