I think im going to throw up on grandma
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
love makes seman taste better
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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