matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
