When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
