I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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