Christians are straight up FREAKS
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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