This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
