9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
