her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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