i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
