just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
where are my eyebrows?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize