My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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