I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
