Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
