Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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