In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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