I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
